Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Writer's Block

I need help. For the last 3 months I have had a hard time writing anything. Before 2011 started, I was writing all the time - blogs, articles, papers, even collaborative writing projects! But for the past several montsh, I just haven't been able to sit down and write much of anything.

Perhaps my mind is too busy, or my heart is unsettled. 2011 has been an interesting time in the life of my family. We've been spending a lot of time reflecting on our place in the Kingdom, on how we can be faithful to God's calling and crazy love in our lives. Parenthood, education, careers, finances, friends, growth, ministry...all of these things have been consuming our thoughts in these days.

Allison and I recently started a book club with 2 of our friends - Eric and Christina. Our first book was Crazy Love by Francis Chan. This week we started reading our 2nd book, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson. We take turns picking the book for the group. This morning as I picked up our newest book, I sat here overwhelmed with the amount of books out there. I was overcome with a longing feeling to find the most fulfilling book ever when my pick comes around again. There is something in me that craves knowledge...that craves fulfillment.

I am slightly afraid to read In a Pit with a Lion because I'm worried it might mean I have to do something.

The last few months I have tried to buckle down and really invest more into the ministry here at Victory Hills. But I still feel a longing. More? Perhaps I need to invest more here? A new adventure? I don't know. One thing I've learned recently is the need to be utterly faithful in the place where you are. Don't go chasing waterfalls? God called me to this place in life - at Victory Hills, with great people, in finacial uncertainty, at the end of my time at seminary, with the start of my family. And it is in the midst of this newness - this change - that I am called to be faithful. It is here that I am to make my calling and election sure.

In theory this makes sense. In practice, this is challenging. Perhaps the point is that it's too big for me. Too much for me. Too demanding for me. Too impossible for me.

But not with God.

In the meantime, while I continue to wrestle alongside my wife with what God desires for us in these days, I try to write. I want my writing to make a difference. So here is my appeal to you:

What do you want to read about? What questions do you have? Theology, Bible, Church Life, there something that doesn't make sense. Give me something to do. Ask me a question that requires me to research some. What do you need to know to live out the Kingdom here on earth?

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